By
susan on February 25th, 2010
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Sometimes I wish people would just shut up about their religious beliefs and let their actions speak for them. You remember that old song we used to sing at church camp that went “And they’ll know we are Christians by our love…” Some people embarrass the whole religion by claiming to be Christian and then hating and judging others in the name of Christ. My children experienced this first hand when involved in some “Christian” homeschool organizations when they were younger. Because we were the wrong kind of Christian (not fundamentalist Biblical literalists) in they eyes of some people we were more or less excluded from any friendships. No wonder my kids refuse to be a part of the Christian tradition!
Sadly it seems that most religions, to some extent, thrive on judging and excluding others. But Christianity claims to be based on loving God and loving others. How much better would it be if people didn’t say that they were Christian, but instead acted it out by showing concern for other people?
Several years ago we decided to sponsor a family through World Vision. Sponsoring a child is an amazing thing – what costs so little to us can change so much about the life of a child or family. Not that it would have changed anything, but we signed up for this long before anyone from my own Christian denomination told me that they didn’t approve of the organization because “they proselytize.” (Maybe some of the people do but their official policy is that they do not.) According to their mission statement, “World Vision serves all people, regardless of religion, race, ethnicity, or gender.” It continues:
“Why we serve:
Motivated by our faith in Jesus Christ, we serve alongside the poor and oppressed as a demonstration of God’s unconditional love for all people.”
Who needs “words” when you do that?! When you really walk the walk, you don’t need to talk the talk. I have to say that the more I’m involved with this organization, the more impressed I am. They’re big, they’re powerful, they’re everywhere, and they get things done. When the Haiti earthquake struck, they had some of the first people on the ground helping out. After the Super Bowl this year, when ads were on TV to by a “Saints Super Bowl Championship” t-shirt I wondered what happens to all the pre-printed “Colts Championship” t-shirts. World Vision got them and sent them to Haiti. You never heard a World Vision person saying that Haitians deserved the disaster because of past sins. They saw people in need and they responded. They used “their words” to ask for help on humanitarian grounds.
I could write pages and pages about all the important work they do, and the issues they take on. They currently have a traveling and online exhibits called “The AIDS Experience” where people can learn, in heartbreaking detail how AIDS has affected Africa and what it’s like to be a child who is affected by AIDS. You can see it here: http://www.worldvisionexperience.org. I really like it, too, that they target their educational efforts at more conservative churches who have traditionally been more about talking about faith than getting their hands dirty working with the unwashed of the world. Their president, Rich Stearns, has written a book, “The Hole in Our Gospel,” taking to task Christians on being so uninvolved in working to eliminate poverty.
So now I’ve used 570 words (to this point) to tell you about one organization whose mission is to actually walk the Christian walk instead of just talking the talk. Some people may have issues with them because some of their people talk too much about being Christian, but it seems that at least they’re trying to do some good in the world.
By
susan on February 24th, 2010
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How can the ideals of Christianity be so far from the reality? Must there be so much “talking the talk” and so little “walking the walk?”
When Jesus was asked what was the greatest commandment, he said simply: Love God with your whole heart and love your neighbor as yourself. People didn’t really want to hear that stuff about loving one’s neighbor, so they asked him what he meant by “neighbor.” He made it very clear that he meant everyone, including people considered undesirable by the social norms of the time.
Jesus’ words were utterly revolutionary. To follow Jesus means to love and respect all people. No exceptions, no exclusions.
But humans want to compare and judge and exclude people they don’t particular like. So the excuses creep in and there are exceptions made. We may sing songs about how “they will know we are Christians by our love” but that’s not always happening in groups of believers. Somehow the words of Jesus get twisted around completely backward and are used to exclude from the Christian club various groups of “inferior” people. Once we’ve driven the others out of the church, then we’ll be feeling the love.
Think of Pat Robertson’s response to the earthquake in Haiti. He said that God was punishing them for years of devil worship. Seriously Pat? Did you not read your Bible, especially the parts about loving one’s neighbor or not judging others lest you be judged yourself? Perhaps someone needs to tell a the story of “the good Haitian.”
Jesus’ teachings and practices were revolutionary. He picked mostly incompetent people to in his band of disciples, and often made room for all kinds of outcasts in his group. He even valued women as leaders in the church. He pushed the ideal of loving one’s neighbor far beyond the social norms of his time. He pushed enough that it got him killed.
By
susan on February 22nd, 2010
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One of the reasons I remain in the Christian tradition is because I just don’t want to give up the idea of Jesus as being a manifestation of God. As much as I believe that God is everywhere and we don’t need intermediaries to talk to God, sometimes it’s good to just be able to relate to God as another human being. Jesus is one of the gang, one of the family, someone who gets it.
Now please don’t get all excited here and write me off as someone who believes that God can ONLY be experienced through Jesus Christ, and that, really, anytime anyone experiences the divine, he or she is experiencing Christ whether he is named or unnamed. I don’t believe that; that is a huge part of Lutheran theology that I couldn’t swallow when I was in seminary. But I do believe that God can be experienced through Jesus and that experience can be quite profound.
I’m a big believer that God can be experienced in nature and have had profound spiritual experiences while sitting on a rock by a river or lake, gazing at the starts at night, or just breathing the fresh, pine-scented air of northern Minnesota. I’ve experienced the presence of God through music and the arts. I would guess that there are as many ways of experiencing God as there are people. But sometimes I want to move beyond that general sense of the divine presence to something more concrete. I can go hug a tree and feel at one with universe, but a tree can’t share my human experience. Jesus can.
Even Oprah, with all of her weird beliefs about how God wants us to be successful in life and all that law of attraction stuff (to me that seems like another form of “blame the victim”) said that sometimes “you just want Jesus.”
My daughter told me one day that if God created “existence,” then God cannot “exist.” It’s a difficult concept to wrap one’s brain around but serves to highlight a problem with belief in a creator God. Certainly there are scientists who would argue that God does not exist based on physical evidence. Jesus gets around this whole problem by being born as a human, and “existing” within creation.
In my praying the Daily Examen these last few days, I’ve tried to included a conversation with Jesus. The other night it went something like this:
S: “Hey, Jesus”
J: “Hello Susan. How’s it going?”
S: “I’m really having a hard time tonight getting my brain to shut up.”
J: “It took me 40 days of being alone in the wilderness to get my brain to quit. Of course in my day we didn’t have the internet or Facebook to fuel the fire! Just work on turning it all off. It takes time.”
Yeah. Jesus rocks.
By
susan on February 21st, 2010
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I couldn’t shake my morning hallucinations today in time to get to the church where I sing in the choir. I’m in the long process of adjusting my narcolepsy medications to try to become functional in the world again, but things just weren’t coming together for me this morning. So I dragged myself over to the local Unitarian Universalist church. And even then, I almost went home when I couldn’t find a place to park. Fortunately one opened up nearby enough that I wouldn’t have to stumble too far on the ice in my pathetic sleepy state.
I was glad I went there. Victoria’s sermon was right on track with what I’ve been thinking about these last few days as I’ve been blogging about the peculiarly Christian tradition of Lent. She talked about the beliefs that UUs bring with them from their backgrounds in other traditions. What’s the baggage that we carry; what are the core beliefs and values that we bring from those traditions? And as usual, Victoria had some great stories to tell of things that seem like they could only happen to her.
If you haven’t figured it out yet, I have a love/hate relationship with the Christian church and its traditions. There is always the temptation to pack up my theological marbles and wholeheartedly become a Unitarian. My thinking has been universalist for as long as I can remember, and I cannot even for a moment imagine that any one religion could possibly contain the whole truth of who God is and how we are to relate to God. And much of Christian doctrine has become so warped with fear and hatred that the often “the church” itself seems beyond hope of ever being something that Jesus would approve of. When I read about people, who call themselves Christians, hating people because they are different (insert whatever variety of “different” you can think of here.) I get embarrassed and don’t want to name myself as a Christian.
Thinking back on my upbringing in the Lutheran tradition, there are two main things that have stuck with me. One is a love for singing and music. Since I was a young child I have sung in choirs. I love singing the hymns and even when the lyrics are outdated and even ridiculous, there is something there that comforts and inspires me. And there is a lot of amazing music that has been composed and written within the Christian tradition.
The other main thing is that women had no place in the leadership of the church. Girls couldn’t even be acolytes, so when I felt the “call” to ministry I left that tradition and joined the UCC, where I found less of a sense of wrongness about women in ministry. It’s not perfect here, but it’s better. I get frustrated with the slow pace of change, but at least people are willing to admit that some things aren’t quite right. (But OH MY GOD! Why can’t we move beyond the issue of homosexuality and the church! Jesus just treated people like people; why can’t we. OK, enough on that…)
Even with progress that is made, it’s not hard to see why Gandhi wrote, “I like your Christ. I do not like your Christians. They are so unlike your Christ.” But there are enough people who spend their days citing the atrocities against humanity committed in the name of various religions that I don’t want to spend time on that here. Just know that I’m aware of the problem, and don’t get me started. Besides, those who have rejected all religious traditions, and even the very notion of there being a God, aren’t doing all that well at loving and accepting all people.
So here I am. I have journeyed this long as a Christian, studied in Christian theological seminaries, and become ordained as a Christian minister. And even though there are many like-minded people in the UU tradition, and I wouldn’t have to throw out any of my long-held beliefs to officially become a UU, there are things that I would miss too much from the Christian tradition.
I’ll write more on that in the next few days; I’ve written enough for today. I’d love comments on why some of you choose to remain within your own particular religious traditions.
By
susan on February 20th, 2010
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I get the Google web updates on the subject of spirituality, so I often read about a variety of spiritual practices and ideas. While I’ve heard about Ignatian spiritual practices, I’d never really looked at his ideas before. I found that I was drawn to the “Daily Examen of Consciousness” as a simple, minimally structured way to reflect on the day’s experiences.
Ignatius of Loyola was apparently a womanizing, compulsive-gambling, argumentative jerk before his conversion to Christianity. He was in love with a wealthy and powerful woman but found that whenever he thought about her he grew restless. But when he studied Jesus he found peace. As he developed his identity as a Christian, he began to realize that God is revealed to us through all our human experiences, not only through the intellect. He began teaching people to pray every day and become more aware of themselves in every way.
There seem to be a wide variety of modern interpretations of his method, but the basic principles are these: To take time to become aware of the presence of the divine, to cultivate gratitude for all of life, to become in touch with all emotions and thoughts, to notice the patterns and traps that we fall into, to ask for grace, and to discern one’s purpose in life. This practice fits well with study of the enneagram and could be adapted to fit one’s particular religious beliefs or no religious beliefs.
Here’s one version from http://www.loyolapress.com/how-can-i-pray-try-the-daily-examen.htm:
1. Become aware of God’s presence.
2. Review the day with gratitude. Gratitude is the foundation of our relationship with God. Walk through your day in the presence of God and note its joys and delights.
3. Pay attention to your emotions. Reflect on the feelings you experienced during the day. Ask what God is saying through these feelings.
4. Choose one feature of the day and pray from it. Ask the Holy Spirit to direct you to something during the day that God thinks is particularly important. It may be a vivid moment or something that seems insignificant.
5. Look toward tomorrow. Ask God to give you light for tomorrow’s challenges.
Ignatius also encouraged people to to Jesus like you would talk to a trusted friend. I love this! I used to do that when I was younger but have let that fall by the wayside in pursuit of more “serious” forms of prayer and meditation. What a shift in thinking to think that Jesus could actually like me, as a friend, and be interested in all of me and not just the “religious” stuff or what I think is important on any given day. No wonder he’s quoted as saying that we must be like children to comprehend the realm of God.
By
susan on February 19th, 2010
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I doubt he would give up chocolate. It seems he would be about bigger things. It makes me wonder where this silly tradition came from of “giving up” something for Lent. Somehow it’s supposed to make us feel like Jesus being out in the wilderness for 40 days, eating no food and resisting the temptations shown to him by Satan?
Much as I love the dark, creamy, bitter stuff, chocolate deprivation is not a hardship worth making a big deal about and certainly doesn’t allow for comparing oneself to Jesus. What if people made Lent a time for real focus on spiritual growth? The tasks (or non-tasks) involved would certainly vary from person to person, and likely be related to one’s particular enneagram fixation. For example, a Lenten discipline by type could look like this:
Type 1 – Be aware of when you are harshly judging yourself or other people. Practice telling yourselves that the world is good as it is and that its flaws help us to learn trust in God. Contemplate a Navajo rug, and consider the flaw that is woven into it where it is believed that the spirit can enter it.
Type 2 – Let other people tell you what they need and focus on your own needs and motives. If you aren’t the one putting love into the world, who is? Practice accepting the love and help of others.
Type 3 – Consider that your worth is not dependent on how successful you are at what you do. God accepts you as you are without doing anything. Take time to enjoy the creation.
Type 4 – Notice how the need to feel unique or defective colors your reality. What would life be like if you were just an average person like the rest of us?
(Have any of you been watching Olympic skater Johnny Weir? His comments and performances reflect a feeling of being unique or defective – the Fallen Angel routine, and needing to be true to himself. It makes him a spectacular performer, anyway!)
Type 5 – Think about what you really know and don’t know. For a time, sink into that space where you know nothing. Notice any tension in your body and any emotional reactions that pop up. Can you trust your place in life when you’re not the expert?
Type 6 – Notice how you seek support for your beliefs and opinions outside your self. For a time, turn off the talk radio, the TV talking heads, and break your connection to the constant electronic barrage of information on the internet. What is important to YOU?
Type 7 – Take time to be still every day. Notice how often the desires for amusement and diversion crop up. Learn to resist those desires for a time, even if it’s only a few minutes. Relax, take a deep breath, and know that no amount of physical or emotional pain will consume you. Stay with those calm feelings and thoughts for a time.
Type 8 – Ask yourself how tough you really need to be in life. Can the world spare you a time of being vulnerable, when you don’t have to protect yourself or someone else? Does your anger or fear of being controlled serve you well, or could you put it aside and relax a bit?
Type 9 – According to my Type 9 spouse, make a list of what really needs to be done and have someone who who is not a Type 9 help prioritize the list. Then spend time every day doing something on the list. You can take Sundays off; they’re not a part of Lent.
These ideas may or may not be helpful to you but that’s what I can think of, off the top of my head. I’m just saying that if you’re going to do something for Lent, why not make it worthwhile.
By
susan on February 18th, 2010
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Ah, the irony of Lent. My previous post was all about how I dislike the negativity of Lent and how I would rather focus on getting out there and saving the world, than going to that dark place inside and dwelling there for 40 days, scouring my soul for traces of sin, whatever sin is. Sin is a topic for another day, though.
As an enneagram type 7w8, I would much rather go out into the world, seeking and speaking the truth, filling others with joy, and generally making the world a better place. I want to move beyond all this naval gazing and soul searching and DO something.
I’m sure Jesus’ disciples felt the same way every now and again. In fact there was a particular grandiose outburst of fervor to save the world right before they turned Jesus over to be crucified. They ran around waving palms and praising Jesus and making all kinds of foolish promises. We celebrate that on Palm Sunday and make all kinds of promises about how we will get out of the driver’s seat and let God run our lives.
And then on Ash Wednesday, we burn those palms and smear them on ourselves, because we just couldn’t turn those plans into reality.
By
susan on February 17th, 2010
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I’ve never been a big fan of Lent. Growing up as a Lutheran with Catholic friends, and a birthday that almost always falls in this pre-Easter season of gloom and doom, Lent just seemed to spoil all possible fun. My friends could never eat my birthday cake because the all had, invariably, given up chocolate for Lent. And they certainly couldn’t come over for dinner on Friday nights, when we seemed to eat more steak than fish. And why is fish not meat anyway? At some point in time I decided that if my birthday fell on Ash Wednesday, I would give up Lent for Lent.
And who designed the church year anyway? They certainly didn’t live in Minnesota. Why not put Lent at the end of October and have the starting day be the same day the we go off of daylight savings time, when life here is plunged into the dreariness of short days, cloudiness, and the need to increase the antidepressant dose if one suffers from Seasonal Affective Disorder? I suppose that could put some people right over the edge, those who are already depressed by the need to be cheerful in the weeks preceding Christmas.
Lent comes at the end of winter, when those who live in northern climes are just starting to feel hopeful that spring will come and our days of cabin fever will finally end. Those who haven’t already fled to a Mexican beach town are getting ready to don the shorts and tank tops and get out there in the above-40-degree weather and spring sunshine. Sigh. So here we are. It’s Ash Wednesday, it’s sunny, relatively warm, and the snow is melting.
An ordained Christian minister, I acknowledge the importance of delving into the dark side of human nature; of figuratively walking alongside Jesus for a time as he faces the temptations of the world. And in some ways it’s a relief from the new age, Oprah, “god wants you to be successful and happy,” “I’m spiritual but not religious,” twaddle that characterizes much of modern religion.
But why now, when I’ve spent the last few months feeling depressed, ill, and without energy, contemplating every last dark blot in my sinful soul? Actually the last ten years or so have been like that, with disease, cancer, death, and struggle plaguing so many people in my immediate family. Now we’re mostly on the mend and hoping to get back into the world and contribute something positive to life. Maybe I’ll post that New Year’s post, or finish mailing my Christmas cards, and get my ministerial profile in order.
OK, I realize that not all people had the luxury of having suffering, sadness and despair pounding their souls bare and making them appreciate that the only real things in life are God and the gifts that come from God: The love of family and friends; even our pets. The desire to seek truth and make sense of life. The ability to be compassionate. The desire to make the lives of others a bit easier. Appreciation of the beauty of the world and the inherent worth of people. Those moments where it all seems to make sense, and there is trust that it will all be OK.
Satan tempted Jesus with power, wealth and immortality. He could have been rid of all the cares of human existence but he declined the opportunity. He declined because he understood what was important and real. So to those of you (that would be most of us) who face the temptations to acquire wealth at the expense of others, destroy the earth because of greed, kill people who are different because of fear, hate those who are different because people in your political party or religion tell you to, or just go on with life endlessly distracting yourself from reality by indulging in your particular fixation:
This Lent’s for you!
By
susan on January 15th, 2010
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We recently took our son out to celebrate his 18th birthday. Where did the time go? Many years ago he was a quiet, mellow infant, content with the things that babies usually like – milk, his Nuk, the battery-powered glider or the bouncy chair, and discovering the world around him and what his body could do… He was an easy or “good” baby, not fussy or colicky. From the beginning he had an amazing ability to communicate his needs. Somehow he told us what he wanted, usually with a glance and a grunt. We wondered if he would ever talk, since words seemed so unnecessary to him.
Nowadays it seems as if he never stops talking. We’ve never heard him talking in his sleep and we suspect that he’s appropriately quiet in his classes at school most of the time. But most of the time if we can see him, we can hear him. From frustrated rants about bad calls by the referees at the football game to educated discussion of the economy of China, he is never at a loss for words.
At the restaurant, celebrating his birthday, he was musing about why he couldn’t have been born a minority; it would be so much easier to get accepted at one of his top choices for college. He calls it “the minority button.” Oh why could he not have been born 1/8th American Indian or something besides pure white male? I was adopted as an infant so I suggested that if I could find information on my birth parents that maybe we could discover some minority blood somewhere in his heritage. And he could certainly pass as part American Indian from his facial features. So it was that we decided that he needed an Indian name. Without missing a beat, his dad blurted out:
“Running Mouth”
Yes, he is an Enneagram Seven.
By
susan on December 25th, 2009
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I’m not usually much of a fan of popular TV shows, but my son wanted to watch the ending of Survivor the other night, so I watched it with him. It was down to the final three survivors: Russell, who, according to Jason, was the best player ever in the history of the game, but in playing the game had betrayed everyone on the jury; Natalie, who didn’t really have a strategy except to align with, and hide behind, Russell, and some guy who was there because he had won recent immunity challenges.
Clearly the producers of the show agreed that Russell was the most focused, strategic, manipulative, cutthroat, driven player in the history of the show. He was, according to Jason, a manipulative genius. They showed clip after clip of his negotiating and strategizing with other players, winning their trust, and then betraying them at the vote. The others should not have been surprised by his betrayal, in my opinion. He was clear with them all from the beginning that he was there to win the game, no matter what it took. And wasn’t he the embodiment of the American individualism and rugged work ethic?!
It wasn’t just his strategies that made him a clear winner. He was physically strong as well, and pulled much more than his own weight in survival tasks and games of skill. When he combined his physical strength with his mental focus, his performance was spectacular.
But all bets were off when the jury of former players, all of whom had been betrayed by Russell, questioned the remaining players as to why they thought they should win. It became clear that many of the other players did not respect Russell for his determination to win and to be the best player ever. They hated him for betraying them after winning their trust. And since the former players could vote for whomever they liked, they voted for Natalie.
Russell was clearly shocked and upset by the vote. There were tears in his eyes as he begged Natalie, and offered her ten thousand dollars, to have what’s his name say that Russell was a better player than her. He was that invested in his image of himself as the best.
He truly was an awesome player, but obviously there was a fatal flaw in his strategy: He thought that the others saw the game the way he did. He projected his values onto them and couldn’t understand that they understood things differently. If ever there was a person who needed a course on the enneagram, or other personality type theory, it was Russell!
My son asked me, “So mom, what enneagram type do you think he is?” I exclaimed wholeheartedly, “Three, with a four wing,” and went on to give reasons for my opinion.
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He is aggressive, but in a smooth, image-conscious way.
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He was able to repeatedly deceive others into trusting him. Deceit is the passion of the three, and yet he was healthy enough to not deceive himself as to his motivations.
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He was totally goal oriented; driven by the need to be successful; to be the winner.
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He didn’t hold grudges and was willing to realign with others to accomplish his goals. He didn’t take anything personally because he assumed others were playing to win as well and would do as he did.
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He was completely driven by competence; he could set emotion aside except when he used emotion to gain the trust of others.
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He could change himself into what he thought he needed to be for the situation he was in. When a jury member asked him if he was “like this” in real life, he said that no, he was completely different. At the final ceremony they asked his wife what he is like, and she said that he’s a really nice guy, and a devoted and loving father.
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When he talked about his business, he talked about working hard and struggling for three years until he started becoming successful. He prides himself on being hard working and goal-oriented in “real life.”
IMO, Russell is not unhealthy. At least while in the Survivor game, he is aware of what he is doing and uses his type rather than letting his type use him. He knows when he’s deceiving other and he knows that he playing a game. He’s just not aware that other people don’t share his perspective and values. We may never know if, in real life, he has integrated his heart’s desire into his life or he is driven by some external definition of success.
The moral of the story? If you really want to be a winner, learn to understand that other people don’t see the world as you do. Learn about different personality types and their values. Don’t assume that people think the same way as you do.