Men are From Mars, Women are From Venus?
Today is International Women’s Day and my thoughts are swirling around the ways that our cultures have informed our beliefs about what women and men are like. I grew up in a traditional household and my parents held very traditional beliefs about the roles of men and women. I rebelled against those ideas at an early age. I remember once my mom told that I needed to learn to iron so that I could take care of my man when I grew up. My response to her was very dramatic. I threw what I was holding onto the floor, and exclaimed, “Damn it, Mom. I’m not going to grow up to a be slave to all the men in the world!”
That was about 40 years ago and times have changed. Here in the “west” women have endless opportunities to follow their dreams and career ambitions. Even though we’re still being paid less, we are more free to choose “nontraditional” careers, without being ridiculed, than most men. But stereotypes persist, for example how many of you have heard these: Women are nurturing and are programmed to take care of others before themselves. Men are logical and unemotional and better at leadership. Women are weak; men are strong. Women are good at cooking, men are good at hunting. Some of the stereotypes are based in physiology and brain science and are generally true, but others are completely arbitrary and only serve to keep men in positions of power over women. And sadly those stereotypes are often kept in place by institutions like the church which, in my opinion, should be about promoting equality between all people.
It seems like personality traits are better understood through a typing system like the enneagram, rather than basing one’s ideas of personality on someone’s gender. And then we might look at how gender affects one’s type.
In terms of enneagram traits, women are often expected to embody the “Helper” type, Type 2. But as a 7, I wanted to explore all my options and get out there in the world and do my own thing. It just felt wrong, on so many levels, to try to fit myself into the roles that were expected of me. I felt trapped by those expectations, and as you know, a trapped 7 is not a happy 7!
I welcome comments on how your gender and expectations associated with gender have affected your personality, as understood through the enneagram.